Once I had mentally adjusted to the fact that I would be having two babies very close together, I started to get very excited. I was delighted with the idea of having another precious child. I truly couldn't decide whether a little girl or another little boy sounded like more fun- both options seemed perfect to me!
But, while my husband and I were looking forward to welcoming another little bundle to the family, I was also determined to tell NO ONE. At that point, my husband was without a job and I thought we looked horribly irresponsible what-with my ending up pregnant again so soon while he was unemployed. To be honest, I was a little ashamed. I thought everyone- family and friends alike- would look down on us and be very judgmental. I convinced my husband to keep it all under wraps until he found something...
And that we did. Even when my sister-in-law said, "Just wait until YOU have two!!" while trying to corral her own two children. We shared a quiet smile and said nothing.
One August night, in the middle of the night, I awoke to the phone ringing. I didn't get there in time (we've never had a phone- or a TV- in our bedroom), but the caller I.D. revealed the call came from my husband's parents...
To make a very long, and very heart-wrenching, story short, my father-in-law had suffered a stroke. He was already battling lung cancer and was severely diabetic. My husband rushed off to follow the ambulance while I stayed back with the sleeping baby.
Over the next couple of days, we spent most of our hours in the ICU waiting room. When we went in to visit my father-in-law, I leaned down and whispered, "We're having another baby. Isn't that exciting? You're the first to know!" I'll never know how much he understood; I never got to talk to him again. But I like to think that those words made his heart happy.
I had still planned on leaving it at that- no one else had to know.
But God had other plans about that too...
Because as I sat in the waiting room, I realized that I was cramping and bleeding. And I had to go two floors down to the E.R.
I'll tell you next week about how and why I ended up telling everyone else...
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2 comments:
It kind of sucks how people are so judgmental about about every little aspect of other people's parenting choices (including myself). I am impressed with your self control. I told essentially every human who ever had contact with me about 4 seconds after I saw the double lines on the stick!!!
I can't imagine how hard that was for you to keep your pregnancy a secret. My heart is wrenching at your story--can't wait for the rest!
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