My Bus Buddy

I see your big brown eyes gazing fixed out the dingy window. I wave to you, smiling brightly, encouraging my one year old to wave her dimpled hand too.

I know you see me, though you don't smile or wave back. I know you do. I see it in the way your stare follows me even as the big yellow bus pulls away.

I also know I'm the first one who's waved to you today.

I want you to know how badly I want to gather you into my home, welcome you to my table, and bake you dairy-free cookies. I want to watch you play, or not, and wonder what thoughts are pouring through your busy mind.

I want you to know how very special you are and how very loved. If I could whisper in your ear, I would reassure you that you're perfect. You're exactly as you should be. You grow more amazing each day, sweet little boy.

It's easy for me, see, because I am just the woman outside the window. I am not the one who endures the day in and day out struggles. If you yell inappropriate things at the lunch table, I can shrug it off. If you refuse to say one single word at a birthday party, it causes me no grief or embarrassment. If you aren't "typical", well, I think that's just swell.

I want to hug your mama, too, though I know the act would put her off. She loves you so much. She's so tired. She wants amazing things for you and, sometimes, I think we focus so much on the amazing THINGS we want that we miss the amazing moments. Like the one day you showed me a picture you drew...

You ARE amazing, precious child, and I look forward to waving to you next Tuesday.

Keeping My Diamond Sparkly

Here's one maintenance routine I'm actually really good about:

I get my engagement ring checked every six months. (How sad is it that my record for dental maintenance isn't nearly as good? *ahem*)

I have good incentive to do so; my husband purchased the coverage so that if anything happens- even the diamond falling out- they will fix it, no charge, as long as I've had my "checks". Fair enough.

I love how sparkly my diamond always looks after those check-ups too! I like to try to keep it bright and shiny in between times too. This isn't always easy given the fact that I pretty much take it off, um, NEVER.

My secret weapon?



An old, clean mascara wand. With a little mild soap, it's perfect for getting in all those little cracks and crevices! Just a few minutes here and there and my ring looks (almost) as sparkly as it did up there in that pic... on the day it first graced my finger.

Linked to WFMW

Menu Plan: 2/27- Chinese Takeout While They Sleep

I missed posting my menu plan last week! Rest-assured, we ate- and quite well! Fajitas, chicken cordon bleu sandwiches, and shrimp quesadillas made appearances for supper and made for some happy tummies. Last Sunday, we impulsively asked the kids what they would choose if they could have anything for supper. The consensus? Cheese pizza and lemonade. I whipped those things up lickety- split and then my husband and I enjoyed a late supper of Chinese takeout once they were in bed. Our kids will happily eat Chinese food, but they were even more excited about the pizza. And, since it was just the two of us, we could choose any old weird things we wanted. Plus, it didn't cost much to feed just a pair!

On to this week! Here's what's hittin' the table:

Sunday:

B-Cereal, Applesauce, Milk

L-Pancakes, Bacon, Oranges
D-My nephew's birthday party! We had burgers and such... cook-out sort of foods. Can I just tell you how yummy that tasted after the winter we've been having?

Monday (Happy Valentine's Day!):

B-Blueberry Muffin Oatmeal, Milk (This oatmeal rocks, by the way, and is SO much healthier than the "packet" version...)

L-P,B,&J, String Cheese, Oranges, Water

D-Amy's Taco Grande (this is very similar to my Taco Pie recipe, but looks quicker, so I'm giving it a try!)

Tuesday:

B-Pumpkin Cinnamon Streusel Muffins, Hard-Boiled Egg, Juice
L-Chick Peas & Ham, Milk
D-Buffalo Chicken Chili w/ Blue Cheese Tortilla Chips

Wednesday:

B-Pumpkin Cinnamon Streusel Muffins, Hard-Boiled Egg, Juice

L-Chili, Chips, Carrots, Milk
D- Sloppy Joes, Corn Chips, Corn

Thursday:

B-PB Toast, Apples, Milk

L-Black Bean and Veggie Nachos, Water

D-Veggie Soup & Grilled Cheese

Friday:

B-Pumpkin Pie Smoothies, Toast

L-Cheesy Beans & Rice, Water

D-Extra Cheesy Pizza (I'm trying out Jessica's sauce recipe this week!)

Saturday:

B-Apple Muffins, Hard-Boiled Eggs (Have you made my apple muffins yet? They're kind of life-changing...)

L-Taco Soup, Chips (after our big Aldi run!)
D-Laura's Mac & Cheese w/ Ham & Mushrooms

Yum, yum! And I'm so excited because I already have the whole next month's worth of menus planned AND I even have some of the shopping for it done. Feels good to be organized! Tell me...

How do you like to menu plan?

This post is linked to Menu Plan Menu.

Two Months, Three Pounds

(Once again, I am happily participating in The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday Writing Prompt. This week's prompt? Five years ago.)

I shuffled up to our nurse for the day a little shyly. Which isn't like me. But, then again, I didn't often ask for favors...

"So, um," I started out. "I was just wondering. I mean, I love holding her against me of course, but how much does she need to weigh in order for her to be held wrapped in a blanket?"

"Well, it's not a precise science, why do you ask?"

"My mom has to fly home tomorrow and, well, our daughter is two months old now... but she's never been able to hold her on a visit...?

"I think it can be arranged," she smiled.

She quickly checked our precious baby's logs; protocol dictated that she needed to be over three pounds to be held in this manner.

She giggled.

"It's like God knew you were going to ask. She weighed in at 2 lb 13 oz yesterday morning. This morning? Three pounds, one ounce."

And so I gazed upon my beautiful three pound two-month old, snuggled close to her Bama. My mom's eyes met mine briefly.

And we shared mothers' tears.

Confessions of a Recovering Judgmental Mommy

I've reread this post dozens of times now.

I stand by it. It's all true. And I think most of you took it just as I meant it... as a list of some issues, which side of the fence I'm on, and an acknowledgment that it's okay if you do things differently.

But there's a nagging voice in my head. A voice that keeps suggesting that piece could come across as preachy, holier–than–thou, and Pollyanna–ish. I've read posts like that before. The ones where people talk about taking the high road and wind up making others feel lousy?

Please know that that was not–and is not–my intent.

It was important for me to write that all out as a reminder to myself. You see...

I'm trying desperately to recover from being so judgmental.

I judge. I do. All the time. I hear another mom talk about giving her son pop–tarts every day for breakfast and I inwardly roll my eyes and think, "Seriously? Is that the best you can do?" I hear couples giggling together about how their children know all the key players on C.S.I. and I cringe. A dear friend describes how they got their daughter to be such a good sleeper; it involves hours of crying and it makes me want to cry.

I judge.

But I'm working on it. And I truly am getting better.

I still have my opinions, of course, and that means I do believe what I am doing is "right" or at the very least "a good choice." But–and here has been my epiphany– I realized something...

Other mothers have opinions too. Other mothers think they're making the better choices. Other mothers have looked at the same data and come to different conclusions.

We can each only do our own best.

And so, when I find myself feeling critical of a choice someone else is making for her family, I try to remember that she's doing her best. She's picking her battles. She may have different priorities than me. Her choosing something else does not make me wrong... and vice versa.

My name is JessieLeigh... and I'm a recovering judgmental mommy. I have a ways to go.

(Oh, and by the way? I promise to move away from this topic now and on to something less intense... you know, like what we're eating next week or something. ;))

Image source

Part 2: Debate vs. Judgment

I've already told you all that I love you just the way you are... including any choices you make that strike me as odd or quirky. My friend Amy raised a great point in the comments. In a nutshell, she asks...

What about debate? Isn't it a GOOD thing for us to discuss these issues? To hash them out? Isn't that how we learn and either change or reaffirm our own stances?

The short answer?

Yes. It's a good thing.

But here's what I've noticed...

Too much of the time? It's not debate. It's a subtle form of female attack that we women love to use to try to undermine the other person. It looks something like this:

Woman #1 sends out a quick tweet: "Help! Looking for something easy to toss together for supper! Links?"

Woman #2, trying to help, replies: "How about this? My whole fam loves it!" with a link to her mother-in-law's famous macaroni and cheese recipe... the one made with Velveeta.

Woman #1 checks it out and writes back: "I'm sure it's tasty! But I won't serve my kids fake cheese. :) :) :)"

Snarkity snark snark snark. Oh, those little emoticons just add to the snark.

This isn't debate. Debate requires two willing, fully-aware participants in my opinion. Had Woman #2 said, "How about this one since it uses Velveeta which is, you know, the most healthy cheese", then, fine. Feel free to debate and discuss. But this isn't what I see happening. I see a whole lot of women who seem to be looking for things to jump on.

I recently read a post about finding good prices on milk. Lots of helpful advice there... until someone had to hijack the comments with something like this:

"Why are you drinking milk? It's not for humans... it's for baby cows. It's not right." Blah blah blah.

Judgment. Superiority complexes. Sometimes outright nastiness.

Look, I think it's great if you have strong opinions. I hope you do! And I'm confident enough in my own choices that, if you catch me on a day when I have the time and energy, I will happily debate with you...

But if I happen to post a pic of my children enjoying a joyful Kool-Aid toast, I'd kindly ask that you refrain from using it as a platform for your campaign against corn syrup. That's all I'm saying.

Image source.

I Vaccinate, Cuddle, and Drink Diet Coke... and So?

I am raising my children alongside me in the Catholic faith. (But I do not believe your Protestant soul is destined for hell.)

I serve my children 1% milk and I truly believe it is good for them. (But I do not think you're stupid or wrong to choose whole, raw milk.)

I choose to avoid all soda and gum for my children, even on "special occasions." (But I don't take issue if you give your preschooler some root beer.)

I firmly believe I am doing the right thing for my children and my community by vaccinating them. (But I also believe you've done your research and have your reasons if you choose not to.)

The thought of "sleep-training" makes me feel a little ill, to be honest. (But I'm not going to debate with you if you've found it works for your family.)

I think routines and early bedtimes are best for small children. (But I won't judge you if that's not how you do things.)

I like Diet Coke and will continue to enjoy it now and again. (But I do hear you when you tell me why it's not so good for me.)

I am completely proud to be a stay-at-home mom and I do it because I think it is fantastic for my children and husband too. (But it is not my belief that "staying home" should be the measuring stick by which we gauge a good wife or mother.)

I am as likely to make my own from scratch macaroni and cheese as I am to serve up the stuff that comes in a blue box...

Because both get the job done adequately and neither is an indication that I am better, smarter, or "right."

How about you? How do you feel about those issues? Have you ever felt put-down because of how you do things? (Just so you know... I love you just the way you are. )

**Here's a little more: My thoughts on the difference between healthy debate and judgement.

Image source

Linked to WFMW because, after all, aren't we all trying our best to find what works?