Wednesday, May 27, 2009
So, by now I'm fairly certain that everyone in the blogosphere knows that I'm fiercely pro-life. I've struggled deeply over the past few months as we move further into a liberal-run era that, quite honestly, frightens me in terms of what it means for the unborn.
So why do I have medical paperwork that links my name with abortion? What on earth could that all mean? Did I have an epiphany at some point and come to my senses? Nope.
Actually, it has to do with the terminology we use. Terminology that I think is inaccurate and manages to leave a bad taste in my mouth.
When I was six weeks pregnant with my second child, my father-in-law had a devastating stroke and was hospitalized in the ICU. While visiting him one day, I suddenly felt crampy and realized I had started to bleed. I sat down and prayed it would ease up and stop but, when it didn't, my husband and I slipped away to the ER. At that point, no one else even knew I was pregnant.
A part of me wondered,
"Had the home pregnancy test been wrong? Was I just late that month?"
It was true that I hadn't been in to see a doctor yet...
Several tests and an examination revealed that, yes, I was indeed pregnant and, yes, the blood was cervical blood. The on-call OB speculated that it was highly likely I was in the process of miscarrying and that there was not anything we could do to stop it. He advised me to come back in two days to have my hormone levels checked. If they went up significantly, he informed me, it would be a sign that the pregnancy was intact and could most likely be sustained just like normal. If they dropped, he explained, it would mean that the pregnancy was over.
He sent me home with a packet of papers. The diagnosis circled in bright red marker?
What? That sounded like something a malicious mother would do to father who wanted a baby that she didn't. It didn't sound like what I was going through... the crushing devastation of thinking I may be losing this baby who was so desperately wanted. How could they call what was happening to me by the same name they call it when someone chooses to murder their unborn baby? I remember staring at that phrase kind of sickly. The nurse who was discharging me noticed and put her hand on my shoulder,
"I don't know why they call it that. It makes no sense. And, for heaven's sake, this is even a Catholic hospital..."
I believe we need to rephrase that as "threatened miscarriage" or "potential miscarriage". Abortion, whether by true definition of not, suggests that someone would choose to end the pregnancy. I think that's an unfair label to throw at a couple who are already reeling with grief at the thought of losing a wanted child...