All Preemies Are Not Created Equal

I've wanted to write this post for some time now... pretty much since this blog's inception about 18 months ago. I've held off until now because it's important to me not to alienate or offend anyone, particularly another preemie parent.

But here goes:

All preemies are not created equal.

I know no other way to say it. There seems to be this unity among preemie families that is an absolutely beautiful thing. I cannot begin to explain how much I enjoyed the community of spirit that I was a part of on this past Prematurity Awareness Day, November 17, 2009. I absolutely love to hear other preemie parents tell their stories and it warms my heart when I get emails from other moms and dads who are parenting precious children born too early.

But there is more to it than that. I have to be honest with you all...

It bothers me when every other parent of a preemie tries to equate his or her story with mine, especially those whose babies were born, well, somewhere in "the 30's"... 36 weekers, 34 weekers, even 32 weekers...

That sounds petty. Or like it's a competition. It is NOT.

But just consider this for a moment...

If your baby is born 7 weeks early, at 33 weeks gestation, she is most certainly a preemie. You likely view her situation as being very different from that of a full-term infant. And well you should. Realize this... your 33-weeker is closer, in fact, to an absolutely full-term 40-week newborn than she is to my barely 24-weeker. Your baby was 7 weeks early. Mine was born NINE weeks before that.

I started this blog because I don't think there's enough support out there for parents of MICROpreemies- those preemies born before 26 weeks. I remember searching for an online support system and all I could find were general "preemie forums". I'm glad those forums exist, but I think it's important to recognize the unique challenges that very, very premature babies face compared even to their later-gestation preemie peers.

I blog about a whole lot of things now and much of it has nothing specifically to do with a micropreemie. I don't intend to stop that. But I do promise to make sure to talk about "micropreemie stuff" at least once a week moving forward. If you happen to be the parent of micropreemie, please chime in and let me know! If you're not? Please read these posts if you get the chance. I'd love the opportunity to tell you more about these precious tiny inspirations...

Mourning A Child

Last week, we learned that the younger brother of one of my son's best friends had passed away- he was two.

Quite literally, I sent out a birthday party invitation and a sympathy card to the family on two consecutive days.

It is staggering. Heartbreaking. Devastating.

People seem to keep asking this one question:

Was he sick before?

The answer is yes, but I can't help wondering... does that really make a difference? Is the grief less real or intense because the child has suffered all along? Should everyone have seen it coming even though this courageous child had triumphed over adversity for over two years? I don't know for sure. I am fortunate enough not to know...

But I DO know that so many expected C. to not make it. So many were, essentially, waiting for the news that she was gone. Given the statistical odds, so many anticipated the worst.

It could easily have gone the other way. We never forget how lucky we've been. I can bring back those feelings of helplessness, terror, and panic in a heartbeat.

Would it have been easier to lose C. than my son or other daughter simply because she was born under less than perfect circumstances?

I don't think so.

And, as we mourn this precious little boy who touched his family in so very many ways, I don't think it much matters that he didn't spend his short life in perfect health.

I think it matters that he lived. That he was beloved. That he made a difference in the world...

And he will be missed.

Honey Vanilla Oatmeal

Oatmeal is a fantastic breakfast choice. Wholesome and inexpensive, it's a near-perfect option especially when paired with a protein. Plain ol' oatmeal hasn't caught on around my house though. What does get them running to my breakfast table?

Honey Vanilla Oatmeal

Ingredients:

2 c water
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 c old-fashioned oats
1 tablespoon butter
2-3 tablespoons honey*
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Directions:

Bring water and salt to a boil in small saucepan. Stir in oats and cook over medium heat for 4-5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat. Stir in butter until melted. Add honey and vanilla and stir until well-mixed. Serve immediately.

*White or brown sugar can be substituted for honey. This will make it a little less healthy, but still less "sugary" than packaged flavored oatmeal. Making it with sugar also makes it safe for older babies less than one year old (for whom honey is not considered safe).

The Power Of Sin

It was a typical Sunday evening...

We were all traipsing up our front steps, having just returned from Sunday supper at Bama and Papa's. I heard my 4-year old son's voice ring out behind me, clear as a bell, almost in song...

"Sin is powerful... we see the power of sin! Sin has power..."

I was appalled. My knee-jerk reaction was to turn around and declare, "No! Sin is NOT powerful. GOD is powerful. Sin is WEAK. POWERLESS. Sin is bad. Just bad."

And I did just about that. I said, "No, honey, sin is bad. It has no power." And I left it at that.

But as I prepared for bed, those words rolled through my head again...

Sin is powerful.

We see the power of sin!

Sin has power.

And you know what? He's absolutely right. We may not like to admit it, but sin has a lot of power. It can consume us. It is such an easy trap to fall into. We are ALL sinful and it is an alluring, dangerous path. The sheer ease and appeal of sin make it powerful. And as far as "we see the power of sin"? You bet. Every day. Who among us hasn't seen someone rise to power, achieve great fame, or attain great riches through sin? Through deceit or trickery of some kind?

Scary thought.

So today I'll expand on that conversation with my boy. It's important that I revisit the idea with him...

Because he's right. Sin has power.

Blessedly, our Lord has more power. And we are called to rest in that knowledge, to find shelter through our faith. To resist temptation.

Nonetheless, I realize that it is important to never forget....

We see the power of sin.

And so do our children.

The Big Girl Bed

C. is a little bitty thing.

Sometimes I think it's just because she's always next to her gigantic, off-the-charts brother that I think she's small, but that's not it.

She's just small.

Not real tall. Very light. Slender-boned and fine-featured.

Because of this, there was no "size reason" to move her out of her crib. And, since I don't seem to have the sort of children who try to get out of their cribs (we'll see about G- she's the one most like her mama and I was a terror about that sort of thing...), we were able to keep C. happily in her crib until her third birthday. Honestly, the only reason we were really motivated to convert it to a toddler bed was the fact that I was expecting and had lifting restrictions!

She just turned four on Christmas Eve and she's getting a little long for the toddler bed. She's nowhere near too heavy for it, but she takes up most of the length.

Sooo....

It was time for a big girl bed. A twin-size. All her own.

She got to go shopping for it. Just her and Daddy. I stayed home with the other two so they could peruse peacefully.

In the end, she wound up with a pretty, girly sleigh bed.

Getting bigger and stronger?

Graduating to a brand-new big-girl bed?

Spending one-on-one time with Daddy?

Getting to get up early so the furniture guys could deliver it at 6:57 am?

All Finer Things in my little girl's world...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post is linked to Finer Things Friday hosted by Amy.

Pucker Up... Even In January

I have to say...

For the most part, I really like winter. I have a high tolerance for cold and I like the "freshness" of it all. I'm much happier shivering than I am sweltering. Of course, I like Fall and Spring the best, but-really- is it just me or do those temperate seasons seem oh-so-much shorter than their more extreme counterparts? So, given the choice, I'd pick January over July.

One thing I don't find charming about these frigid months? My dry lips. I mentioned yesterday that I always wear lipstick. What I did not mention is what I use to keep my lips in tip-top shape so that they're not a flaky looking mess...

First of all, let me tell you a few of the OTHER things I've tried in my quest for a smoother kisser:

• Medicated Blistex - I was convinced that "tingling" meant it was doing something amazing. Amazingly, what it did was create a near-addiction to the stuff!
• Vaseline - It looks pretty and shiny but does not last worth beans. (I love the stuff though- I really, truly do!)
• Aquaphor - Um... this stuff works. I've since learned, however, that it's not really considered "safe" to put on your lips. Now I stick to using it on my chapped winter hands...
• "Exfoliating" my lips with a washcloth - Please tell me I'm not the only one who's tried this? It left my lips swollen and raw. Clearly, I was too aggressive in my pursuits...
• Moisturizing lipstick "combo" deals - Mmm, yeah. If it sounds too good to be true and all that jazz... plus, who wants to keep layering on color all day long?
  
• "Fancy brand" lip balms - I followed the advice and recommendations of many friends over the years and wound up with a whole lot of glorified Chapstick...
• Lip products in tiny jars - I hate this delivery method... give me a STICK, people, that I don't have to stick my finger in. Is there anything nastier than the feeling of lip gloss stuck under your fingernail?

So here's the burning question...

What do I use???

The same thing I used 25 years ago.

Seriously.



Bonne Bell Lip Smackers.

I love this stuff. I can safely re-apply as needed with no warnings. I can choose from dozens of silly flavors. If I lose a tube, I'm not out a bunch of money. I can let my kids have a swipe or two without worrying about "medications" in there. I love it.

(All the Lip Smackers I have ever had have been purchased in stores. Bonne Bell has not provided me with any to review (though I am more than open to the proposition!) and I have not been compensated in any way, shape, or form for this post. I just love the product and wanted to let you know. Thanks.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post is linked to Things I Love Thursday, hosted at The Diaper Diaries.

Two Things

I am a girly girl. It's true. I love everything about being a girl from polishing my nails to giving birth. (And, yes, I was that girl with the perfectly pedicured toes sticking out as I pushed my son into this world...)

Anyway, it should therefore come as no surprise that I was also the one to get super excited when I was allowed to wear "real" jewelry, make-up, heels, and the like. I loved every minute of fussing over getting ready... choosing just the right outfit, matching my jewelry, curling my hair, doing my nails, etc, etc. I used to carve out huge chunks of time on Friday and Saturday evenings when I was in college to get ready to go out.

I have three kids now.

My world (and focus) has changed.

This doesn't change who I am at heart. So what's a girly girl to do?

Find two things.

That's my advice to you- find TWO things that make you feel polished. For me, I make sure I do two things before heading out the door, even if it's only to my kids' bus stop. I put on earrings and lipstick. That's it. With those two things in place, I feel feminine and put-together. I still like to fuss when I get the chance, but earrings and lipstick will get me through!

Your two things may be totally different- lots of women would place mascara way above lipstick, but I have naturally long, dark lashes but my lips are pretty pale (plus, my husband likes lipstick and that counts for something!)... It could be "a ponytail and a strand of pearls". Whatever. Just find your two things that make you feel polished and put-together.

People will be impressed. Trust me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This post is linked to Works For Me Wednesday, hosted at We Are THAT Family.