Friday, February 25, 2011

Confessions of a Recovering Judgmental Mommy

I've reread this post dozens of times now.

I stand by it. It's all true. And I think most of you took it just as I meant it... as a list of some issues, which side of the fence I'm on, and an acknowledgment that it's okay if you do things differently.

But there's a nagging voice in my head. A voice that keeps suggesting that piece could come across as preachy, holierthanthou, and Pollyannaish. I've read posts like that before. The ones where people talk about taking the high road and wind up making others feel lousy?

Please know that that was notand is notmy intent.

It was important for me to write that all out as a reminder to myself. You see...

I'm trying desperately to recover from being so judgmental.

I judge. I do. All the time. I hear another mom talk about giving her son poptarts every day for breakfast and I inwardly roll my eyes and think, "Seriously? Is that the best you can do?" I hear couples giggling together about how their children know all the key players on C.S.I. and I cringe. A dear friend describes how they got their daughter to be such a good sleeper; it involves hours of crying and it makes me want to cry.

I judge.

But I'm working on it. And I truly am getting better.

I still have my opinions, of course, and that means I do believe what I am doing is "right" or at the very least "a good choice." Butand here has been my epiphanyI realized something...

Other mothers have opinions too. Other mothers think they're making the better choices. Other mothers have looked at the same data and come to different conclusions.

We can each only do our own best.

And so, when I find myself feeling critical of a choice someone else is making for her family, I try to remember that she's doing her best. She's picking her battles. She may have different priorities than me. Her choosing something else does not make me wrong... and vice versa.

My name is JessieLeigh... and I'm a recovering judgmental mommy. I have a ways to go.

(Oh, and by the way? I promise to move away from this topic now and on to something less intense... you know, like what we're eating next week or something. ;))

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