Thursday, April 14, 2011

Role-Modeling For My Daughters

There was a time, not long ago, when I felt sure of the ways I was setting a good example. I thought I was setting a beautiful example by staying at home, being securely married, going to church every week, and preparing home-cooked meals. I was happy to be raising little girls in this environment, proud of the example of motherhood I was displaying.

But I've learned something.

What I'm doing matters so much less than how I'm doing it.

  • If I'm a stay-at-home mom who grumbles about the drudgery, I'm doing them no favors.
  • If I'm married to an honorable, steadfast man but do not demonstrate- openly- love and respect, they won't see the value.
  • If I go to church, but rush around angry and frazzled in my haste to get everyone out the door rightthisveryminute, I fail in sharing the joy of worship.
  • If I bake my own bread and sigh at the time and effort it takes, I'm not displaying anything they should aspire to...
  • Whether you are a full-time homemaker or hold a powerful career outside the home too, embrace it. Let your daughters see you take pride in what you do, no matter if you do it by choice or necessity. It doesn't matter if I'm here because I want to be or because I lost my job; my girls need to see me celebrating the role.
  • Whether you are married or single, show your daughters how you fulfill your responsibility. A crabby woman with a husband is not a better role model than a happy single mama. It's that simple.
  • Show the celebration of worship! Pretty hair bows and being on time pale in comparison to an open heart and willingness to smile and sing and embrace the wonder.
  • Find joy in baking bread... and, if you can't, find joy in picking up a loaf of Wonder. Trust me- you do your daughters a greater service by buying bread with a spring in your step than baking it with a stone in your heart.

Do not mistake what I am saying. What we do- and the choices we make- matter. They will play a role in shaping who our daughters become...

But, when, one day, I kiss them goodbye with tears in my eyes, I want them to be eager. And not so much eager to get married or embark on a career... I want them to be eager to be just like their mama:


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